Dear big, black, hideous,
Southern-sized baby Shelob
that lives above my window sill
and cowardly retreats into the safety
of the crack between the molding
and the wall when I draw near,

know this:

you may have slipped from my vice-grip
last night, and you may have slunk
into your place of sanctuary in response
to the drawing-near of my shadow tonight,

but you shall perish
from the face
of the Earth
one day
very soon,

and in that hour
there will be great weeping
and gnashing of mouth-parts
as the gavel of my just wrath
alights upon your abominable flesh,
and my visage will henceforth be a terror
to your spirit
as you wallow
in the depths
of Hades
for all perpetuity.

Be warned!