24 Monday Feb 2014
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I only square my shoulders
when I’m scared.
My chin is up to tilt the tears
back into my eyes.
Clenched fists shake
less visibly.
“Being brave” is looking brave:
something you only need+
when you’re afraid.
23 Sunday Feb 2014
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how many tears through the years can I cry?
how many prayers to the lord must I try?
still the pain tears at my broken heart
sometimes I feel,
I was cursed from the start.
all I could hold, all
I could see, so full of promise
each day reaching out before me
once… now there’s nothing
lost as if you never saw me.
how many tears through the years
can I cry?
how many tears until my heart runs
dry?
sometimes I wonder
if someone hears
why must I live
through so many tears?
22 Saturday Feb 2014
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The flowers are blooming
at home right now.
I miss the canyons,
the red rock,
the smell of desert
rain and wet alfalfa,
and the fiery sunsets.
Tired of this snowy,
dreary New Haven.
20 Thursday Feb 2014
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happiness, and more than that—
deservedness—
is fragile at best.
For me it is, and has been,
almost wholly
dependent upon others’
whims.
It was my own fault, for living
my life in such a way, but when
I decided to stop?
Oh, how the mountains crumbled;
the rivers ran with blood;
somewhere, a baby cried
for the last time.
That’s what happened to me
back in August, when I moved out.
19 Wednesday Feb 2014
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Where
is
yesterday’s
beautiful
sunshine?
18 Tuesday Feb 2014
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The ice hitting my windows
sounds like a room full
of frantic typewriters.
17 Monday Feb 2014
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May I live
like the lotus:
at ease
in muddy water.
16 Sunday Feb 2014
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I want to sleep but
my thoughts are all in haiku
it is distracting
11 Tuesday Feb 2014
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“I do.”
followed by…..
I am.
I’m going.
I did!
I can.
I could.
I might.
I will.
I tried.
I thought.
Wasn’t me.
It does.
It is.
I was.
I finished.
It didn’t.
You what?
… and finally
the oft repeated
“Yes, dear”
10 Monday Feb 2014
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I mean I dont drink,
and I’m no king, but I do
consider myself a modern man,
I own many leather bound books,
and I sure do enjoy
a good roast duck.
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